No matter what may be at stake. 
I may bend. But I won’t break. 

With my feet planted on solid ground.
The earth may quake, but I won’t shake. 

I have faith in my Father who is above. 

That each step I take, I am guarded by His abundant love. 

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I have no fear. 

For the God who gave me breath, is walking with me through my tears. 

The trials I face are real, but I make it look like a piece of cake. 

Only because I serve a gracious and faithful God who is with me in the fire.  

He gives me strength while I am being baked. 

I can cast all my cares on Him. 

Knowing that I won’t drown because He helps me swim. 

When I become too weary to continue in this race. 

I seek His face. 

Because although I may experience seasons of bending. 

My Lord makes sure that I won’t break.

-Rose

Bend. Won’t break. This poem is one of my most recent ones. 2024 was a year of emotional rollercoasters. I faced overwhelming gratitude, endured through many frustrations, and suffered excruciating physical pain. I also encountered an abundance of joy and peace.

At the beginning of last year I had continued experiencing issues with one of my vehicles. But by the grace of God I had some of the most amazing people stand by me and helped pay for the expensive repair costs. I was overwhelmed with emotion because I never had anyone do something so generous for me. I couldn’t help but cry.

In March, my oldest daughter made the decision to go public with her faith by getting baptized. I had a proud mom moment. I had been sharing my testimonies with her over the past year and just continuing to live my life according to God’s way. How many of you know that when we think our kids aren’t listening or watching, they are. That is why it is imperative to be a godly example for them.

As the summer season approached it was finally time for my oldest to take a trip halfway across the world to South Korea and Japan. God provided a way for me to send her on this once in a lifetime trip. She has her passport before me! 😂. It was kind of nerve wrecking because this was the furthest my baby had ever been away. On top of that she was going to be in a foreign country. I gave it to God. I prayed for Him to keep her safe and for help with the anxieties we felt. This was going to be her first time ever on an airplane. I remember a week prior to her leaving I seen on the news that there was some kind of flesh eating disease spreading around Japan. I was like, “Lord, really?” I had not heard of it before this moment and after her return I didn’t hear about it again. Satan uses any and every scare tactics he can to try to get you anxious and fearful. It didn’t work. I could not allow that to stress me out. It was going to be an amazing experience for her.  We cannot live life in fear. I am sure the High School would have cancelled the trip all together if they knew it would put students at risk.

In July my main water line began to leak really bad in my basement. It was frustrating and overwhelming. Not only that, but once the summer heat kicked up, my AC went down. I remember the temperature inside of my house reaching up to 90 degrees. I am the caregiver to my mother, who lives with me, so I had to figure out something quick. I contacted the same company who worked on my water line. When I was told that the entire unit would need to be replaced, I was numb. That’s not what I wanted to hear. I didn’t know what else to do. All I knew was that my family depended on me. That night, my girls and I all slept on the floor in my mom’s room since she recently purchased a window unit. It was the coolest place in the house and I was truly thankful. We have the tendency to take even the smallest luxuries for granted, such as air conditioning. Within days I ended up having to take out two loans to have these items fixed. As much as I love the freedom of being a homeowner, it can be extremely stressful and costly.

I serve each week at my local church, UNITED in Dover. I am so grateful to be part of such a loving church family. In early August, I was experiencing what I thought to be just a regular stomachache, but it turned out to be something much more serious. I was serving at church and my stomach started bothering me. I was able to make it through the entire morning at church, but once I left it was like my health was declining drastically. I remember stopping at Food lion in my town and pushing through the severe pain that has now moved from the middle of my abdomen to my lower right side. I was able to drive home but immediately laid down. I began to vomit continuously. The last time I vomited like that was when I had the stomach bug. Was that what this was? Did I have food poisoning? I began reflecting on everything I ate that morning. My mom grew concerned and advised that I go to the ER. Me being the stubborn person that I can be sometimes didn’t want to go. I kept telling her “I will be ok. It’s just a stomachache.” Boy was I wrong. After a hour had passed of continuous vomiting and severe pain, I couldn’t take it anymore. I finally took my mom’s advice and had my oldest daughter drive me to the closest ER. The pain was unbearable. After receiving the results of my CT scan I heard the words, “you need to have emergency surgery done right now.” I looked at my daughter, confused. She looked at me scared and began tearing up. The doctor had told me that my appendix was inflamed and needed to be removed ASAP. In my mind I’m like “wow really?” I immediately gave it to God. I wasn’t afraid. I didn’t worry. I wasn’t anxious. I was just exhausted.

Up until that point I had experienced so much in 2024. I recounted how many times God saw me through it all. How He had made a way. How He always provided. He is faithful and good. So, I placed my trust in His hands. I prayed as I was loaded up into the ambulance and hauled down to Kent General.

The pain got worse and worse. I thought I would have surgery that night, but I didn’t. Doctors just kept coming in every so often pressing on my abdomen and asking me where the pain was. I think they could tell where the pain was by my reaction to a certain area. It infuriated me each time they did that. It only caused more pain. After being assigned to my room the vomiting had subsided. IV medication temporarily relieved the pain for about 3 hours at a time, but quickly returned. It hurt to see my daughter so scared for her mom. She didn’t want to leave my side, but I also didn’t want her to see me like this. I wasn’t even worried about myself. I knew I would be ok. I was more concerned about my baby. She has never seen her mom down like this. I tried to comfort her as best as I could. I ended up having surgery the following morning. It was a long and painful night of waiting. It felt like time was standing still. I could hardly sleep, but it was God’s strength that saw me through it.

🙌Glory be to God, in September, I was able to see another birthday. My oldest daughter and I had a dual celebration. I turned 40 and she turned 18. For the past nine months I had been planning all the details for the party. It was such a memorable moment and I am blessed we got to share it together. Happy to know my baby isn’t embarrassed to have a party with her mom 😁. Later that month I continued to have issues with my other vehicle. I ended up having to trade it in. It was heartbreaking because my mom had just made her last car payment on it in April. She was looking forward to the extra money each month. It just seemed like each time I was able to come up for air to breathe I was being pushed back down.

In mid-October my youngest told me that she wanted to be baptized! WOW! Both my children in the same year! Look at God move. She was getting ready to turn nine soon. She was baptized four days after her ninth birthday! I remember filling out the baptism form online. When it was time to click the submit button, I wanted her to do it. She said the most heart-warming thing. As she was pressing the button, she said, “I submit my life to Jesus!” Praise God.🙌✝️

Now that I’m 40, it was time for me to get my first ever mammogram. That’s what happens when you get older, more tests 🤣. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t want to hear any discouraging horror stories. I didn’t want the enemy to get a foothold and allow fear to creep in. Once my exam was completed I received a call a few days later that I needed to come back for extra testing due to a lump being found. I was told that a biopsy had to be performed. Who wants to hear that? No one. But as with everything else this year had already brought, I just continued to give it to God. I didn’t allow myself to Google any terms or diagnosis. I refused to let my mind get worked up with the what if this, or what if that. I was truly at peace and continued to live life as I have always done everyday, one day at a time. Why worry about tomorrow? The Bible says, “today has enough trouble of its own.” It seems as if during that period of waiting for the biopsy to be done, I kept hearing the word “cancer” pop up. In commercials, on shows, in life. I felt like Satan was really trying to put fear into me because before that I had never heard the word used so much in such a short period of time.

In order to fight the enemy we need to have God’s word written on our hearts. That is why memorizing scripture is so important. It’s known as the sword of the Spirit. A weapon. From the time I had found out about the lump until after my biopsy results were revealed, which took a little over a month total altogether, I printed out scriptures that pertained to fear. Such as, Psalms 56:3, “But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Doing this helped me keep my focus on Jesus and not all that was going on around me. He comforted me as I rested in His peace. Thank you Jesus, no cancer was found! 🙌

My year ended on a sweet note. For the past four years I have been single. I didn’t want to just jump into any relationship like I use to. I was very particular this time. I desire to be married again one day, and I made it known to God. I have enjoyed my single hood and embraced it. I waited patiently as I seen so many people in my church enter new relationships and step into marriage. I didn’t allow those visuals to become an idol of some sort because I knew God had someone for me. Around Christmas 2024, I began dating the man of my prayers. Although we are just beginning our journey; I look forward to what the future holds. I am sure a poem will be written about that. For now, that story will have to wait. 😊

Throughout the year 2024 my faith has become so much stronger. I have been able to persevere through so much and God’s hand has been all over my life. He has provided in ways that I couldn’t even fathom. He has protected me and my family. He blessed me tremendously. I am and forever will be grateful and thankful for His never-ending love. Now whenever trials come my way I say, “bring it on!” My God has brought me through before and He will do it again.

I wrote this poem as a remembrance of what I have been through in just 2024 alone. How God has been faithful through it all. The ups and the downs. There were many times where I could have just snapped and said, “I can’t take this anymore!!” I could have just simply given up on my faith because of the trying times. But it is in the midst of those trying times that simply drew me closer to God. I believe if I had gotten distant from Him I would have broke because there would not have been any foundation to stand on. Jesus is my firm foundation. He is my rock. Without Him I am weak. I came across the scripture below during the waiting period for my mammogram results. It brought me comfort and peace as I was reminded that God is with me no matter what I am faced with. It was part of the inspiration to this poem.

✝️“The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34‬:‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬