“No disrespect, but are you expecting?”

How dare you ask a woman that question!

“No disrespect, but dude that’s rude.”

That’s the response I should have given.

But instead, it will only make me more driven.

Working on my weight has been a goal of mine.

Just trying to drop a few inches off my waistline.

In bed, tears rolling down my face.

As I read scripture, I try to get into a more positive headspace.

I refuse to allow their words to break me.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked this question, you see.

How dare you feel confident to invade my personal business.

What if I was battling some type of illness?

You just never know what someone may be going through.

It could be the words that make her contemplate suicide because of what she heard from you.

So next time, before you fix your lips to assume.

Truly stop and think, to avoid looking like a buffoon.

-Rose

How dare you! This is a poem that I just wrote a moment ago because I experienced this, again, yesterday. I had just clocked out of work and was walking out of the building. I don’t always chat with coworkers as I’m leaving, but I was feeling good. It was Friday. I had just started intermittent fasting that week. I was moving around more at work as opposed to sitting at my desk all day. I started taking iron pills as suggested by the blood bank lady so that I can pass the hemoglobin test and donate blood again. So it was a great week.

As I was exiting the building I was chatting with a coworker. Older guy. I asked him if he had any plans for the weekend. He shared what he would be doing. I told him I’d be hanging out with my daughters and going to church. Then out of nowhere he said, “no disrespect, but are you pregnant?” 😱🤯😳 That question just really caught me off guard and smacked me in the face. I normally wear a hoodie or jacket at work because it can get a bit chilly inside. On top of that, I have been a tad insecure about my little pouch (tummy area). I just want to think of it as a beautiful reminder of the two incredible children God blessed me with. Since I have been moving around more and it was a hot day, I left my jacket at my desk.

The fact of the matter is, I have been asked this question by multiple male coworkers before. It has been about a couple of years since I was last asked, but I’m at the point where I’m getting annoyed by it. I didn’t show my frustration when he asked. I simply responded with, “no” and continued on with the conversation, but now I felt awkward. I was very annoyed and hurt. It is extremely disrespectful to ask a woman that. I’m a woman and I wouldn’t even ask another woman that question!! So for any men reading this blog, a word of advice would be to never ask a woman if she is pregnant. Just don’t.

Honestly, what is the purpose of asking her? Especially if you don’t know her personally. Are you going to help raise the child if she was? I remember the last time a guy asked me. After I told him, “No, I’m not pregnant.” He continued on by saying, “Oh, I’m so sorry. You just look like a fit pregnant woman.” 😑 A fit pregnant woman? Wow. Just stop talking dude. I just walked away. A few months before that encounter, another male coworker just came up and randomly congratulated me on my pregnancy😑😑. Seriously! How dare you! What if I was battling infertility or experienced multiple miscarriages, which I have.

Through it all I have been calm about it. I never respond back cussing and shouting. I just politely say, “no” and keep it moving. If it happens again I will simply and politely let that person know that it does hurt when a woman is asked that and she isn’t. Hopefully this will remind him to think before he speaks. I can’t control what others say and do, but I can control how I respond. I choose to respond with grace and truth. I think this time is the first time I actually cried about it after the fact, but it will just be my fuel. My weight loss journey isn’t for anyone else but myself. It’s not like I’m just now thinking about it. I started the intermittent fasting Monday and this question was asked on Friday.

That’s just like Satan to try and rain on your parade. To try and steal your joy and peace. To try and dim your light, but I refuse. I know what my God says about me.

I would like to shout out my amazing boyfriend. After I told him about my day, he immediately responded with encouraging words:

One thing that is true. I am pregnant. Pregnant with the Spirit of God who dwells within me. He has transformed me into the person I am today. As I live my life for Him daily, Jesus’ character and values reflect the way I live in my actions and interactions. Thank you Jesus!

For any woman who can relate to this situation or married couple who struggle with infertility and experienced miscarriages, please know that there is hope in Jesus. He is a miracle working God. I have had friends who went through years of battling and finally received their blessing.

✝️“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.”
‭‭Ezekiel‬ ‭36‬:‭26‬-‭27‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/116/ezk.36.26-27.NLT