I feel like I have let you down. 
My smile has turned into a frown. 

Tears roll down my face. 
 I feel like a complete disgrace. 

So many thoughts running rampant in my mind. 
How could I have hurt you? You’ve been so kind.

I reflect on all your Word has said. 
As I lay here, tears rolling down my face, in bed. 

The shame and guilt try to blow me away like a rushing wind. 
You comfort and remind me that if I don’t give up, I win. 

So gentle and loving you are. 
You said there is nothing that can separate me from it, no matter how far. 

As I take a deep breathe in. 
You help me to stand. You lift up my chin. 

I breathe out a sigh of relief as I rise to my feet. 

You wipe away all the tears I have cried. 
As You say, “Has anyone condemned you? Neither do I.”

-Rose

Tears. As followers of Christ, we won’t walk a perfect line on this journey. We fall short each day. That is the beauty of God’s grace and mercy. I had that moment recently. It’s not something that I am proud of or that I want to do again. God is so loving, kind, patient, merciful, gracious, and faithful. How could I do that to Him? His Word says that He does not condemn. He remembers my sin no more, “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalms 103:12). Who am I to be shown so much grace and mercy? I am a child of the Most High God who is human and battles her flesh. Someone who stumbled. I am not perfect and I definitely do not walk around trying to be, but I do want to try and live a life that reflects Jesus more and more everyday. So, what happens when you are in a race and you stumble and fall? Do you just lay there crying and throw a pity party? Unless you truly injured yourself then I understand, but then you have others that will come along side you to help. Jesus is that person who can help us stand back up when we feel ashamed, embarrassed, hurt, disappointed. He reaches out His hand to pick us up. We have to be willing to grab it and accept His help.

I could have chosen to run and hide from God. I could have chosen to give up my relationship with Jesus and continued down the path of sin. That would only put me back in a place that I turned away from years ago. That isn’t the life that God has for me. People who don’t understand the relationship aspect with Jesus may think, “well what is the point of it all if we are going to mess up anyway since no one is perfect?” My response to that is the more you love and follow Christ Jesus, the more it will break your heart and lead you to not want to do it again. After that experience, I don’t want to continue on down that road. I don’t have the desire anymore. I repented, I’m forgiven, and gave it to Jesus. I’m not choosing to make it a lifestyle, as I once use to before surrendering my life to Christ.

Each morning we get to see, we are shown grace upon grace from our Heavenly Father. Grace that we don’t deserve and cannot earn. He knows our personal struggles. He knows what battles we face. So when we don’t give up, we win. When we continue to seek His face each day, we have the opportunity to be transformed, renewed, restored, refreshed.

The enemy will do everything in his power to try and get you to stay down. Bound in guilt and shame. He tried to do that to me. I made the decision to keep listening to God’s voice and what He says about me. “You are forgiven.” “You are loved.” “You are enough.” “You are my daughter.” That is why it is so important to read the Bible daily. It doesn’t matter if you are on a mountain top and everything is going smooth in your life. The enemy is still lurking on rainy days and sunny days. We must stay vigilant to his schemes and tactics. It doesn’t matter if you have been a follower for 20 years. If you allow the enemy to get a foothold into your life, he has the ability to consume you if you let him. God’s Word is a weapon, the Sword of the Spirit. Fight off the enemy with God’s Word. Read it out loud and declare every word over your life. Over your situation. Over your feelings because our feelings will mislead us. His Word says, “God is greater than our feelings.” (1 John 3:20)

If you find yourself living in shame and guilt, understand that this is not from God. Turn to Jesus right now and tell Him about your situation and receive His forgiveness and love. He will wipe away all your tears and wrap His loving arms around you. Let go and receive Him today.

✝️“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭56‬:‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.56.8.NLT